Diaries

I have been actively dieting for two months. I've dropped twenty-five pounds, and I am so thrilled by it. These last two and a half weeks have been tough. I haven't lost any more weight, and nor have I gained any weight. And honestly, I don't think I have hit a plateau.

I got up this morning to a bright gorgeous day in San Diego. Groundhog’s Day and Valentine’s Day have come and gone. So has Easter, which means, we women begin to panic. Bikini season will be upon us before we know it.

Have you ever noticed that when people speak of someone who has achieved success in their life, they are often referred to as a big man. “He’s a big man on campus” or, “Big man with big plans” or “Big shot”, all with the obvious meaning of the word “Big” to mean important, successful, an achiever, or one to accomplish great things.

The monster scale is slowly becoming my friend again. I am a total of five pounds down this morning. I am so thrilled. I look into the mirror and stick in my stomach, and then I laugh out loud. There I am, naked, looking at my profile in the mirror as I stick in my stomach to see if I can see a difference. Not yet. This is what makes me laugh.

Four pounds off this morning! I am so happy. I feel so motivated!

Well, I made it through yesterday. Today is a brand new day. Despite my finishing up my Chinese food for dinner, I decide I had to face the monster in my bathroom. It might not be too bad. I did real well all day long, and I finished the rest of my dinner. It’s not like I went on a huge sweet crazy binge.

I woke up this morning, and for the first fifteen minutes, I forgot what today is. I was sitting in my living room when I looked up at the picture of my son, Tommy. That’s when it hit me. Today would have been Tommy’s twenty-ninth birthday.

The stupid monster (scale) did not budge. Okay, Linda, I tell myself, it’s only been one day. Relax.

I have been trying for weeks to lose weight and failing miserably. I keep jumping from one diet to another, and by the end of most days, I promise to start over tomorrow and stick to one diet.