future former fatties
Dec 10, 2014 at 12:55 PM

Diary of a Future Former Fatty 2

By Linda Misleh Wagner, Future Former Fatty

Dear Diary of a Future Former Fatty,

The stupid monster (scale) did not budge. Okay, Linda, I tell myself, it’s only been one day. Relax.

I go over my day. I ate my low-cal Chicken cacciatore for breakfast. It tastes so good and warm. I had some unsalted mixed nuts as a snack. The office ordered lunch from my favorite Philly Steak and cheese place, Volteros. I ordered the low carb version, Philly steak and cheese over a bed of salad with low calorie Italian dressing. I sucked on five Otter Pops through out the night. Tomorrow should show some results.

I am very motivated. I can honestly say, I don’t think I have felt this much true motivation in a long time. I have a goal in mind. I’m not sure I can meet that goal, but it is very important to me.

The night before, as I lay in bed thinking about losing weight, I thought about my daughter, Nadia. I haven’t seen her and my granddaughter, Lenah in almost two years, since they moved to Pensacola, Florida. I miss her so much. And Lenah, I am so in love with that child. I wish I could spend everyday with her.

I want to go see them, but the last thing I want is to travel this fat. It is so hard to travel these days, and add being fat? It is miserable. Seats too tight. Seatbelts that don’t shut so you have to deal with the embarrassment of asking for an extension. Make the damn seatbelts longer so people don’t have to ask!

My birthday is at the end of May. Maybe, if I stick hard to my plan, I can lose enough weight to travel comfortably. Suddenly, I think of Nadia. Oh how sweet it would be to lose weight, walk off that plane, and spot Nadia before she spots me.

I see her in the crowd looking for me with excitement and anticipation in her eyes. Suddenly, she sees me. Her big gorgeous almond shaped brown eyes enlarge to the size of the moon when she spots me. Her mouth forms the shape of a long and large O, and then breaks into a huge smile filled with incredulousness.

I know that look. It is the look you see on people’s faces who love you so much, and who haven’t seen you in so long. It’s that look that says, “WOW! Mom, you look amazing”. That look.

I decide that I am going to focus on that look as I work to lose this weight. That look is what will sustain me when I want to cheat so badly. That look will carry me through when I feel I am in emotional stressful overload. That is the look I want to see, Diary.

Until we meet again, this is Linda Misleh Wagner, Future Former Fatty.

Posted in Diaries.