future former fatties
Dec 10, 2014 at 01:03 PM

Diary of a Future Former Fatty 6

By Linda Misleh Wagner

Dear Diary of a Future Former Fatty,

The monster scale is slowly becoming my friend again. I am a total of five pounds down this morning. I am so thrilled. I look into the mirror and stick in my stomach, and then I laugh out loud. There I am, naked, looking at my profile in the mirror as I stick in my stomach to see if I can see a difference. Not yet. This is what makes me laugh.

Inspired would be the word I use today. Another pound which equals five pounds this week. Gosh, If I can keep this up, how wonderful would I feel in a few months.

My normal routine of preparing my breakfast and lunch began. I am so excited about the five pounds off that I am inspired to even do better in my choices. I ate the last of the baked chicken, a thigh, for breakfast. I was surprisingly full.

I pulled a Weight Watcher lasagna out of the freezer and packed it along with a nectarine and a plum, a tomato I cut up and seasoned with garlic, salt and pepper, oregano, red wine vinegar, and two teaspoons of fat free mayonnaise.

Once at work, and lunchtime rolled around, my co-worker, Angela, had not brought lunch. She was going across the street to Vallartas to grab our favorite salad. It’s a bed of Romaine lettuce covered with grilled carne asada beef with a Caesar cilantro dressing. Even though I had brought my lunch, the salad sounded far better. I hate half for lunch and saved the other half for dinner.

I left the office today late. I had work I wanted to get out of the way. By the time I got home, it was eight p.m. I ate my salad, but I was still hungry. I popped a Weight Watcher lasagna in the microwave. It hit the spot.

I hope I won’t be sorry tomorrow for the extra calories. It’s just that the last half of the salad I had saved didn’t have much meat. I guess I ate most of the meat off the salad at lunch.

Diary, I am exhausted and heading for bed. Again I will say my prayers. My children are on my mind heavily. I usually try to eclipse these thoughts of my children. In these moments, I only feel the hard pangs of pain in my heart. How did things get so bad? I love them with all my heart. If only they could find it in their hearts to try to understand my love for Bob. I feel as if they threw me away like I am nothing. And for what? Falling in love?
I am trying hard to understand the way they feel, and I do. What I don’t understand is their ease in which they discarded me. If only they would communicate with me, then perhaps, we could come to an understanding, respectfully.

I need sleep. I need to forget. I need to not these feelings get in the way of my health. I need to continue to lose weight.

Until we meet again, this is Linda Misleh Wagner, Future Former Fatty.

Posted in Diaries.