future former fatties
Jan 05, 2015 at 09:51 AM

In The Know Blogs on Relevant Trending News 2

By Linda Misleh Wagner, Future Former Fatty

In The Know

Blogs On Relevant Trending News


Linda Misleh Wagner

Future Former Fatty

People Pleasers Are Fatties

My dear friend, Aaron Snyder, founder of TheUltimateWeightlossRx.com, a wonderful sight you should check out, e-mailed me regarding an article he thought might help me. I blog for Aaron’s sight, and he noticed in my recent blogs a common denominator that he felt if I was aware of, I might be able to help change obstacles in my way that keep me from losing weight.

The article was titled, “Why Being A People-Pleaser Is Bad For You (And How To Stop)” by Rachel Grumman Bender. This article discusses studies that show that people-pleasers are more apt to have weight problems than non-people-pleasers. The reason being is because people-pleasers are too busy taking care of other people, meeting their needs and pleasing other people, while the one person they should be pleasing and taking care of is pushed aside. That person is the people-pleaser.

People-pleasers have plenty of time to come through for others even if it is at a cost to their own mental and physical health, but they don’t go out of their way to come through for them. Even if they are under tremendous stress, people-pleasers will practically cut of their right arm to serve others. In other words, people-pleasers do not know how to say, “No!”

To say I recognized myself in this article would be an understatement. Every word of this article was printed across my body in bold print. I have always been a people-pleaser even when I have been exhausted beyond exhaustion. I have pulled all-nighters even when I had to work the next day just to come through for someone who asked me to do something. Crazy stuff, huh?

My brother once said to me that I have a need to take care of people. He is right. I do. My son-in-law got me an adorable puppy (Chloe Cleopatra now six and half years old) because he thought I needed something to love, other than my daughter. I guess that was his way to help me loosen the apron strings.

This article stressed the study’s message that weight issues are a real problem amongst people-pleasers. I agree with the article. There was a ten-question test to take to see if you would be considered a people-pleaser. I answered yes to every single question. No wonder I am so fat.

What are important to note is the article shares skills to stop stressing on pleasing others and start focusing on pleasing ourselves. We need to learn to say the word “No” and know those around us will try to get us to give in, but in the end, they will survive and learn to cope for themselves. We are actually doing them a favor by denying them and taking care of ourselves.

I didn’t get into all the psychological reasons we are people-pleasers. We know why we do what we do. If you don’t know why you do what you do, then I suggest you really need to take some time to get to know yourself better. Half the battle is recognizing and admitting you have a problem. If you don’t see a problem, and there is a problem, maybe denial of problems, then it will be more challenging to reach goals in changing your health. We have to see the issue to correct the issue.

I have faith that we all can and will do better at taking care of our health. I know we can all reach our goals, and we can learn to maintain our health goals because we are willing to recognize the problems in our life, and we are more than willing to make changes.

Until we meet again, this is Linda Misleh Wagner, Future Former Fatty.

Posted in Linda's Musings.